Now I know that it seems whenever I post on this thing I’m having a bitch. And they may be partly true, but thats usually when I’m in the blogging mood.

I get worried that the wrong person will read it and really screw you. This is my personal blog, and if you choose to search it out and you don’t like what you read than I don’t care?

kk so this is what is new.

I changed my mind. AGAIN. I KNOW. Its freaking shitting me. Although… if I’m honest with myself and this blog – then I wasn’t 100% on forensic science. It scared me that it could mess my head up and that I had to move out of home. Same with policing – 12 hour shifts and more crazy people and the part that I wanted to get to would take me like 5 years + to get to if I even made it, plus to not have anything behind me if it didnt work. Again it was the same with medicine – only to a degree though because I’m not real keen on surgery itself. I don’t want to spend the next 10 years at home trying to set myself up. In the back of  my head, nursing has been there. I told myself that if those other career choices didn’t quite work out then I could change careers. I guess I was setting myself up to fail. I hate that my mother told me I could do anything…. because I can’t. I have my limits and I can’t really have more than one substantial career at one time. So no mum, I can’t do anything.

I was surfing one of my regular forums and then something clicked. Paediatric nursing. I LOVE kids, and there is this connection I have with them, and childcare/teaching doesn’t interest me in the slightly. But I also like helping people, and (human) biology really interests me hence the medicine idea.

So I’ve looked into it. UWS (yeah yeah I know). 3 years. AND I can *fingers crossed* go straight into paed’s if I can get a placement.

Then there is the issue of a GAP year. To take one or not… that is the question.

At this stage, I’m thinking not because if I live at home (yeah I REALLLY know) then hopefully I can save up, travel in the christmas holidays and eventually move out after my degree.

I’m aiming for 5km. My best so far is in 3.7something in 30 minutes with 10 minut warm up/cool down. I’m up to 1.2 on the Couch to 5km iphone app. The gym is addictive, but I like it. I want to look better. Feel better. Fit into clothes and LIKE clothes shopping because it doesn’t depress me.

Hmmm thats it for now. I have quite a few friend issues but they are a post in themselves and I have Zumba soon!

at my favourite horse riding place in the area Fingers crossed that it work out . I’m pretty pumped. The money probably wont be as good as McDonalds, but hopefully I can compliment the two together to give me a nice system.

I also got my P’s and my bug is aaaaaallll fixed <3. Luckily we didn’t have to pay for any of the problems and the used car dealer we brought it off were brilliant and I would recommend them to anyone. So I now have freedom and transportation and my parents are taking it well. For now

I like a boy. hehe. But its a secret. Well not entirely. He knows the truth, and I’m not sure how he feels. Oh well. His hugs pretty much complete my life.

I’ve been missing dance pretty bad. Esp after dropping it at school. My old dance teacher is running her own casual classes at a local studio space. I wanted to go last night but funds didn’t really work out for me.

HSC is over on the 1st of November at 12.25pm. I still have no motivation. My major work is coming along nicely I’m just trying to get the ending the way that I want it and then it will be completely done. Except for editing and tweaking.

So this update has been long coming and a bit of a mix match of things.

Everyone cross everything that this job will work out for me on the weekend

is LOVE Just finished Season TWO but I have to wait till my birthday for the rest of the disks. Gr. But I have assessments so I reaaaaaally shouldn’t be up to all hours of the morning watching it.

Crappy Stuff?

Well, number ONE, my car is being taken back to the car yarde brought i off for the following reasons;

• Power steering failed
• The immobolisers doesnt work which could mean a new computer
• The Radiator is broken – not enirely sure
• The fan for the air con is just kind of floating under the bonnet
• There is a crack in the sub rail of the car which basically holds the engine in

Yes. I paid $7500 plus $400 for new tyres plus $200 for transfer, but it is under warranted so I should get my money back. BUT there is less than a month till my birthday soooo yeah

Number Two, my boss is making my job harder than it should be, and ultimately if it doesnt improve for good then I will be leaving end of November and hopefully I can get a job at a horse riding facility I understand her job is difficult, obviously more than mine, but really how immature can one person be? If she can’t handle the stress of being our top boss then what is she doing in the job? She has improved our store immensely but I don’t appreciate the way that I’m treated and spoken to.

Number Three, I have done NO school work what so ever this holidays so I am literally SCREWED.

Good things?

*crickets*

Oh wait. I will hopefully have my P’s in a month. Without a car. Hmm. My birthday is in less than a month, that is a good thing but yeah. I’m not really excited though because I’m not really getting anything exciting.

I’ve forgotten to introduce my car… affectionately called “Bug”

$7500.

19th of May <3 It will be my day!

I just don’t want/can’t do it anymore.

I don’t have the time, or the motivation, or the resources and I’m always on the wrong side of the world.

I adore the fansites I have and the celebrities/the shows that they are based upon but it is such an effort.

I’m falling behind on my school work, and if I want to follow my dreams in the next 2 years I’m going to need some $$$ which is possible but that simply means more hours at McDonalds.

Why does it have to be so hard?

Or maybe some criminology?

Hmmm I’ve been looking at going to Uni. Yes I can hear it now.. “Buuut you said you didn’t want to go to Uni!”. And well yes that would be true…. if I didn’t need to go got Uni.

Double Bach in Social Science in Justice Studies and Forensic Science. 4 years of my life in Canberra… or maybe 3 in Canberra 1 in Canada. ATAR of LESS than 70. If I can make the cut I think it is going to work.

I get to move out, recieve to Uni degrees, Crime/Justice and Law and possibly still work in the Police Force.

Going into Week 4 at school.

Cars Cars Cars. Well I have c. 110 hours. 3 months to go so I’ll be fine.

Honda Jazz is on my radar at the moment. White little baby. 2004 model only $9000. And Yes that is a fair bit of money. Rents seems to be pretty good about it.. and right now I can afford Rego, Insurance (under their names.. under my names its like $4000 A YEAR) and Greenslip. I’d be willing to pay them off aswell… so we shall see how it goes.

Work makes me want to curl into a little ball and die. Yeah go suck on that Rob.

You are wasting my time. I dont care anymore nor am I going to help you out anymore. I am counting down the days till I get spend extended amount of time away from you.

Positive: I think I may have a crush… that is again kinda unattainable but who knows

Oh and if anyone ever needs a layout check out http://illusions-inc.org

I have like zero motivation to finish school. and it is isn’t even like I want to stay at school or anything… it is just I’d rather jump forward 12months from now.

I guess I shall have to get started on my Ext 2 draft, might start writing that tonight. and get onto the rest of that English homework.. and ancient homework…. and compose my dance… and yeah.

I have a new site in the works, Megan Fox. Nuff said

Found a really promising place to ride/lease/agist. Endeavour Park Equestrian Center. Google it. But it is alot cheaper than Scenic Hills, with 10times the facilites. Although it is a 40minute drive. Hmm guess I’ll have to see how it goes.

Hope your all having a great day

And my iPod dies. Lovely.

Onto better news (well apart from Christmas being in two sleeps) I’ve got two new layouts up at Ghost Whisperer Online and Booth and Brennan Fan. They look great in Firefox, and are a great new look after our old layouts.

I’m back working at my old Macca’s store. Not what I had planned but money is money and I’m really not in the position to be picking and choosing. In the next year I have some pretty big purchases coming up, such as a car. Not cheap but it will be good to have some freedom.

I also may have found my music for my HSC Dance Core Composition dance. Here have a listen; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2Ma4BvMUwU

The chicken cheese and avocado toastie from Gloria Jeans is reaaaally nice